NUMBER: 59TITLE: Self-Made Man: One Woman's Journey Into Manhood and Back Again
AUTHOR: Norah Vincent
STARTED: October 20, 2007
FINISHED: October 28, 2007
PAGES: 290
GENRE: Non-Fiction
FIRST SENTENCE: Seven years ago, I had my first tutorial in becoming a man.
SUMMARY: [From barnesandnoble.com] Norah Vincent became an instant media sensation with the publication of Self-Made Man, her take on just how hard it is to be a man, even in a man's world. Following in the tradition of John Howard Griffin (Black Like Me), Norah spent a year and a half disguised as her male alter ego, Ned, exploring what men are like when women aren't around. As Ned, she joins a bowling team, takes a high-octane sales job, goes on dates with women (and men), visits strip clubs, and even manages to infiltrate a monastery and a men's therapy group. At once thought- provoking and pure fun to read, Self-Made Man is a sympathetic and thrilling tour de force of immersion journalism.
REASON FOR READING: It was the November 2007 This Cake Has A Hole In It selection
THOUGHTS: This is one of my favorite books of the year. The writing and "storytelling" itself are nothing special, but this book has radically changed the way I look at gender (and the male gender in particular). Since this book was November's selection for my book club, I do not want to give a full review. Therefore, I will give just a quick list of things that struck me as I was reading.
1. There is far more to gender than anatomy. Vincent discusses how her transformation into the mask of a male required far more work with the social constructs of gesture, action, and voice than actual physical change. People will see what you want them to see - as long as you can "act like a man" people will believe you to be a man. I love people watching and, as I was reading, I found myself picking up on people's gendered body language more and more.
2. Men have it rough. I never realized how I treated men as "guilty before proven innocent" until I read this book. Women may call men pigs - but I don't think we see how hard we make things on them. Vincent discusses how we ask so much of the the men in our lives without realizing that what we're asking them to be can be two exact opposite things at the same time.
3. This book has me looking at men/their actions in an entirely different light. I don't see them / their actions as any "better" or "worse" than before, but I do read things differently. Actually, this book has me trusting men more (or at least seeing them "at face value" as opposed to reading their actions as something other than they are).
4. Men are "men." There are certain guy stereotypes that just ring true. And, yes, that is why we women give them a harder time than they deserve.
5. Sex and "sex" are two different things. For men, there are two(ish) kinds of sex. The "animalistic urge" sex and the "you mean the world to me" sex. Having the first type of sex does not necessarily negate the sacredness of the second type of sex. For men, sex and emotion are not intertwined as they are for women.
5a. I can now understand the wearing/rationale behind the wearing of veils/burkas.
5b. Boobs are boobs.
5c. If a guy can turn off the need to jump you, it means he really likes you.
6. Men can like another man in the first instance they meet. Men are the more genuine of the two genders. Most women need a warm up period. Seriously, watch two women meet for the first time - you can't help but see how fake the greeting is once you know it's there.
7. Men are more emotionally needy and complex than most people think. I also think that this book proves that men have varying levels of intelligence that they turn on and off according to the specific situation.
8. In regards to Vincent's method, I think she spent much of her time in a specific socio-economic area of "manhood." I wonder if her results would have been different if she had "infiltrated" different communities? Also, while my roomie and I both dislike how Vincent reveals her true self at the end of each "experiment," I think, in doing so, Vincent can more directly show how people react toward gender. We treat people according to their gender and seeing the switch in action was fascinating.
I highly recommend this book.
MISCELLANEOUS: I would have trouble passing as a man. Too much hip sashay.
RATING: 8/10 [Terrific]
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